How To Have A Relationship With A Selfish Person

How To Have A Relationship With A Selfish Person

January 2, 2019 0 By April Kirkwood
Everyone would need a psych degree to be even partially prepared for all of the diverse types of personalities we encounter on a daily basis.  No doubt, you have met selfish people and are faced with the dilemma of having to decide how to best interact with them. Their ego-centric ways can make you want to run for the hills.  They send many conflicting messages and appear to be wrapped around oneself making you feel  like a second citizen in their world.
But don’t give up hope, I believe that whether it’s a lover, a child, a friend, or a boss you can have a great relationship with a selfish person, if you understand them and know what to expect.
First, it’s important to really know how selfish people think. When we understand others we can better adjust our expectations avoiding a lot of misunderstandings.  Self-absorbed people don’t mean to have tunnel vision but they do.  They are just so darned in tuned with their passions and goals, it’s easy for them to lose sight of their core values.  These people are goal oriented, go-getters,  and success motivated.  They are the kind of people others often emulate.  Everyone except those who feel left out in the cold by their lack of balance in their personal lives.
Understand that those selfish people are NOT narcissists and aren’t intentionally arrogant.  Self-serving people are internally motivated and don’t look to others for confirmation of their worth.  That makes them seem aloof especially in a world where almost everyone is starving for praise and pats on the head.
Their thoughts, “It’s ridiculous to get a blue ribbon just because you show up. Absurd.”
Another positive attribute of these high achievers is that they can accept criticism without screaming, plotting, or resenting others.  Therefore, you can mediate your needs with them without fear of getting into a large fight.  It’s a person who functions more on reason.  This has its perks.
The selfish also truly do care for others and often demonstrate apathy for others when they are aware of what’s happening.  They remind me of physicians who live and breathe to help their patients.  Sad to say, they at times can be so caught up with their careers that they don’t always look around to actually see when they need to stop and attend to those they love. It’s not done in malice, however.  It’s important to know that and be prepared for a lot of forgotten important dates in your life.  “Was it your birthday?”  continuing,  “I was totally caught up at work.  I’m sorry.”
If you still want your selfish partner,
here are three tips to help you love your adorably selfish egomaniac.
1.  Be independent and strong.  Selfish people don’t admire pitiful people who need to be carried every day through the ups and downs of life.  They see this as terribly oppressing and definitely NOT a turn on.
2.  Find your passion.  Get into your own life.  Find what drives your motor and gives you a skip in your step.   The bonus:  When you’re excited you draw others to you that also feel that way or want to.
3.  Pull Back.  Don’t be possessive.  Don’t call constantly, text constantly, or hound them requesting a minute by minute account of their day.


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