What To Do When YOUR World Derails

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Every time I think I’ve finally gotten my world somewhat together, the tracks of my journey get derailed and I’m knocked off balance.  It doesnt happen every day but when it does I want to run away, call my mom, or my favorite escape, sleep.

It doesn’t happen a lot, thank goodness, I know I have a lot to be grateful for but still a crisis of any magnitude still takes me by surprise tittering and wobbly and I’m never quit sure how to cope.  Thinking about what the April forecast foretold by Mystic Mama warns, I thought about what I could do if I’m headed for yet another disappointment.

So, I’ve given it some thought to share with you. I’ve discovered that there are two basic types of collisions that knock me on my butt.

Perhaps you’ve had the same experiences!

The first disasters that we need to maneuver around are the ones that come with warning signs.

Example: Your girlfriend calls to let you know she saw your guy sitting at a bar chatting with a girl.  You aren’t totally shocked as he has been pulling away for the last month or so.  The cues were already there.

 Like the tornado alarm four minutes before it strikes and blows your house down.  I got enough time to run for shelter.

The second nasty heartaches are the ones that arrive unannounced out of the blue, without notice leaving you dumbfounded frozen in despair.

Example:  You get that dreaded call on the phone, your Dad had a stroke and is in a coma. You have to catch the next flight home.  That means calling your boss, getting someone to care for the cat, and wondering where to forward your mail.

Does that ever happen to you?

 Please tell me that I’m not the odd ball of the universe.

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 After the shock and disbelief pass, I have to gather myself together and keep moving.  I mean, we have no other choice until I’m sitting in a vase on my daughter and son’s fireplace.

Well, tighten up your seat belts, this month seems to be another round of making us lose it. According to one of the blogs I return to often for advice, Mystic Mama,

The theme for April 2015 is

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED~

The author goes on to tell us that:

“This is truly an eccentric month that will test us at every turn. There will be highs and lows, higher than you have experienced before and lower than you ever thought you would be able to handle.

“Flexibility will be key to navigating the month as your best-laid plans change and then change again and then change again and then change again.

“Don’t get attached to anything. Some of the work this month will be about releasing your attachments to the past. If you are waiting for all of this to be over so things can ‘get back to normal’, you will be waiting a long long time.

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To prepare us for all for the next inevitable round of, “I can’t believe this…..”  I’ve done some research, soul searching, and 50 some years of experience to help remind us how to survive April 2015 and any spring storms whether it be from inside our bodies or swirling in the landscape of our days that want to bring us to our kne

Four Essential Thoughts that can help keep your Sanity during moments of crash and burn:

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  1. Whatever the fates befall you, remember that someone, some where else, some time throughout history has experienced this very same heartache and has made it through even the darkest moments of despair. Do NOT become a martyr.  Most of what happens to us is beyond our control.  Most of it isn’t even personal.…though it sure as hell feels very personal at moment you are enduring this type of death. Exhale when moments of freak out happen and think to yourself:  “This happened but I will get through it.”
  2. It is OK, no not just OK, but vital to your mental and physical health to allow yourself time to mourn and grieve. (There is no exact time for mourning.)  Stay in bed, eat ice cream, and when you possibly can breathe and do one chore on your to-do list each day even if it’s as simple as changing the cat litter.
  3. When crisis hits, sit still.  Avoid the natural state of ‘fight or flight.‘ By the way, this was our DNA’s way to keep us safe from lions, and tigers, and bears.  Today’s warrior often reacts with swords of words, revenge less obvious than a spear struck into the chest of the opponent but just as devastating to both parties involved.  Be still, let the smoke settle, and just BE!
  4. The most important question to ask yourself is, “What is the lesson to be learned from this experience?”  A wise sage gave me two important pieces of information about sorrow and distress I’d like to share with you:

A.  Predetermined lessons (the ones you agreed to before this present incarnation, so no blaming and no self-pity). These usually take the form with those most close to you aka family and friends. (The toughest stuff is always with those we love to hate the most but still adore the most. FYI: They aren’t going anywhere; they have been placed in your life for the very agony you are going through.  You are joining together to learn.)

B. Timing is everything as lessons are presented to each of us in the first half of our lives, let’s say 50 years.  If you don’t learn them, God in his admiration and concern will allow you the opportunity to receive them again.  Each time, however, the consequences are more severe, as source is struggling to get your attention.

And lastly:

There have a few occasions that I have actually managed believe, maybe like you, that I handled and keep pressing forward as though nothing had happened. When in reality, something did happen.  For example, the time I left a job I loved helping children as a guidance counselor because I was bullied by administration. I was so brave but it broke my heart.  I couldn’t handle being treated so meanly and unjustly so I convinced my it was for the best.

But friends, until I looked at the truth and felt the pain I couldn’t move on to the next career move.

The point: crisis’ hurt…. but we must take the time to  mourn, think, and process.  If not, I promise you, the lessons will be presented again all because you and God agreed to the lesson at hand.

Much love as we learn and grow together. 

“You’ve Got This!”

Always,

April of Course

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