Joining a gym to firm up is wonderful; mortgaging your car flying to a foreign country to get a boob job from some quack because he loves big breasts is NOT.
Wanting to know his buds is normal; writing a note to his mother before you’ve even been introduced is NOT.
Crying when someone breaks up with you is normal; admitting yourself to the hospital for anxiety is NOT.
Driving past an ex’s house once or twice is normal; torching his ride is NOT.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
1. How many times have you fallen in love first sight? (Intense infatuation, engulfed in seduction fantasies, and romantic intrigue before you really even know someone is a large red flag that this is NOT Love but addiction ready to bloom.)
Although lust is a part of any new relationship, spending quality time understanding and learning about each other is vital before anyone can really determine the difference between passion and the real deal.
2. Out of those you thought you loved, how many did you sleep with right away? (I’m not a prude, but more times then not, it’s better to wait. After sex, us girls lose all sensibilities and believe it or not, guys enjoy the hunt.)
Sex is a moment when two souls become one. Your DNA unites changing each of you and bonding you together in a cosmic way forever. It is something very profound and very special. If you give that part of your soul to everyone, what will you give to your beloved when they actually shows up?
PS: Guys talk just like us chicks!
3. When you are really in to someone, is it hard for you to think of any thing else? (The hallmark of addiction is when an ex or even your BFF’s calls you, ‘obsessive, clingy, jealous, a stalker.’ )
Life is filled with unexpected ups and downs that take us away from our daily routines…weddings, babies, moving, new jobs. However, meeting a new person should NOT sent your regular life into turmoil. We often confuse Chaos for love; just ain’t so folks.
4. How many times have you been in love? (Some might have not lasted long but still felt special, meant to be, filled with deep emotion. If the number is high, you might be a love addict.)
Real love is rare. It doesn’t happen often. That’s why it’s so special!
6. Is it difficult for you to move on when someone breaks up with you? (To fall in love at first sight, date for three months, break up, lose your job, your friends, your ability to move on is desperate and crazy.)
There’s always a dumper and a dumpee. No one likes the latter one. But to fall to pieces over a brief encounter, a fling, a short relationship is insanity.
7. Do you go into some weird moods when you are NOT in a relationship? (Anxiousness, uneasiness, restlessness, or irritability are very similar to withdrawal symptoms in other addictions. When a drug addict injects a hit of heroin, this same reward center is tripped in the brain. It is this very same reward center that is activated when we have sex, feel close to our lovers, or simply feel excited about the possibility of seeing them-oxytocin floods our system and elevates our mood.
Sorry to inform you, it is this chemical reaction you are addicted to not Mr. or Miss Thang or perhaps, you avoid relationships altogether. That too is a type of love addiction.
Love is wonderful. It changes our lives. We learn, we become strong, and we mature. We finally find someone who brings us our best, supports, and helps us grow. It is not something to be taken lightly. Buying a pair of shoes is not the same as bedding down with a stranger. There are no exchanges or returns after you have given them your most precious self.
Get help if you need it. I don’t want you to miss one minute of what is waiting for you when the ONE comes and wants only YOU.
Love always and forever,
April of Course
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