There are all sorts of relationships: lovers, spouses, children, friends, coworkers.
Each arrives to the dance of life meeting you with different degrees of commitment and expectations. Some have a lesser involvement in your world, others are the cornerstone contributing to many others factors of your future.
But people are unique and full of complexities and so is finding lasting romantic love.
The reasons that determine a person’s individual personality are infinitely enormous and would give anyone on the other end trying to figure it out a major burn out.
But no where are the stakes and involvement more entangled with hopes, dreams, and your core to be loved is in the romance department.
Counselors can work with couples giving them tools to use to heal, learn, and grow together. Theologians can attribute causes to why a person acts the way they do. Parishioners can speak of prayer and the ability to others to see the world from a different perspective.
All of which, by the way, are great helps on the adventure of life.
However, the root cause of why relationships crash and burn is rarely blurted out. Perhaps it’s because the pain is too great. Maybe, we ourselves don’t want to give up hope ourselves of what can and cannot be changed.
It’s time, way past time, to tell the truth about romance:
Firstly, true love, the kind we all want and desire, can only be found when two people of the same psyche find one another.
All other kinds of love end up in disaster and anguish. Sexual attraction is not love. Being the same religion or nationality is not love. Wanting to marry him because he will be a great husband or good wife is not love.
There can be no long lasting love and intimacy when two people come from opposing levels of spiritual wakenfulness.
Secondly, no one will be able to recognize the deep love and devotion in your eyes for them, until they recognize it themselves.
In actuality, all of the seduction, nice things you do ‘just because,’ how much you sacrifice, or your efforts for them to see how great you two could be together….will never work.
Key: If someone who does not know how to love themselves, that sets a limit as to how much they can love you.
Open Eyed Affirmation
And so I work on learning my truth. I realize it is myself that must love me, knowing that others are not capable of returning it until I do it myself. There are some I will bid farewell to you with blessings for them to find their own way. I welcome others to come into my space as we learn more about love together. So it is. Amen.
Next Week: Getting In The Zone To Attract The Kind of Love you Want
Monday Moments with me, April Of Course