What Women Can Do After The “METOO” Dust Settles
Another one bites the dust!
There is a movement of enormous proportion energizing a new vibe in history as never before. It’s as big as Women’s Suffrage; maybe bigger because it involves what goes on privately between men and women not just in public forums.
The coveted and protected male club of using power to get their ego stroked amongst other parts are being driven out of town and for good reason.
Sexual Harassment, inappropriate propositioning, threats, stalking, molestation, rape and showing their genitals without provocation are just a few of terms that come to mind when I read the daily headlines of yet another man who has biten the dust.
In fact, I have not met one woman who hasn’t been put in some awkward situation involving an unwanted advances at least once in their life time.
Personally, it’s happened to me many times. One of the most disheartening moments in my professional career was when I was a single mom with young kids at home to provide for. Out of the blue, I lost a great on air radio position because I resisted the program director’s advances and so I was indirectly punished. They said they were changing the station’s format. Only my time slot was changed. And it wasn’t that I didn’t do well…in radio talk I took the book from a 3.1 to a 9.1 rating hike the first time out.
The worst part wasn’t losing the job. It was that even thought most of the employees, half being women, knew what was happening, they politely turned their heads as I was let go at a staff meeting because I didn’t sleep with him. It was disgusting. He would call while I was on the air propositioning me. Everyone saw him do and say things that were direct sexual comments and physical touching but they did nothing. The opportunity of a life time in a small town radio station became hell.
When I was asked abruptly to clean out my things, they literally put their heads down and wouldn’t even make eye contact. This one woman is a pillar of the community advocating spirituality and the importance of service. One woman even said, “I’m proud of how cool you are handling this.”
But, now things are changing. Women are bravely standing up and shouting: “I will not play your games ‘Mr. Big Shot at the top.’ I will no longer surcomb to vulgar displays of heinous behaviors and sexual connotations in order to hold on to a job security or a promotion.” The ‘boys will be boys’ bull crap won’t fly anymore.
LET’S NOT FORGET:
the other heinous assaults on the minds, bodies, and souls of others both young and old. Those in positions of power like fathers, uncles and friends who molest young girls and boys; Sexual predators including priests, coaches, professors, teachers who groom the innocent to satiate their sick sexual addiction.
But with all facets of life, the world will keep turning and other events will take over the news. Life is like that…either moving forwards or backwards but always moving so:
What Women Can Do After The Dust Settles?
We must not, as strong healthy women, let this down merely as a moment in history when hormonal women went crazy. The casting couch must be burnt and thrown away forever. The changes need to become the norm permanently engraved as a new morality setting a higher standard for each of us.
Together let US:
- Assumption makes an ass of you and others. Never assume your non communications are equally understood by all. A nervous giggle, the habit of crossing you leg in a skirt, is often misconstrued by self-absorbed, arrogant men as a gesture of approval for their obnoxious behavior.
- Say No. Strongly, swiftly, and with a sense of self empowerment say NO without screaming then gracefully turn your backs and walk away with your head held up high. Resentment, rationalization, and denial are cancer physically, mentally, and spiritually.
- Silence is not golden! Be ready to come to the aide of others who are at risk for sexual assault and be willing to be part of the effects – both good and bad. Women are powerful and we need to work with each other not against one another.
- Two wrongs do not make a right. Act like a lady….never diminish yourself to another’s bad behavior. Govern your actions with respect for yourself and others not by hate and rage. If you need to; take time to do the healing work. Nothing said in haste usually benefits the one who said it.
- Lean on one another. Find a support whether it be other females or a counselor…self care is key to moving forward.
- It takes a village. Watch and care for those younger and more innocent. Rescue them if you must! You must!
- One bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch. Keep your heart pure, your mind wise, and know that there are really great guys out there.
Out of the dust grew a glowing power surrounding the feminine spirit endowing her with powers beyond measures lead by humility, kindness, and equality for all.
And so it is.
About The Author
April Kirkwood, LPC is a vetted therapist, published author, and TedX speaker providing innovative methods untiling Eastern and Western practices with researched based counseling theories. Her one of a kind content is creating a movement that wakes up others from their drab sleep state to a new awareness and vitality for seeing their story with joy and gratitude. She is an advocate for others who have been affected by early childhood exposing its effect on adult romance. Her philosophy and treatment is a refreshing blend identifying the mind, soul, and body connection through practices of awareness, awakening and play therapy. Her podcast, The April Kirkwood Show ‘Soulfully Yours’, is on Stitcher, Itunes, and SoundCloud, and Buzzsprout debuts July 2019. The inspirational handbook, The Guide to Living in the Now can be purchased at www.AYRIAL.com. Her memoir, Working My Way Back To Me, is an inspirational tale that sheds light on universal struggles involving love, sexuality, addiction, and mental health. April’s reckoning with an emotionally destructive relationship that harkens to her early childhood, and the women pushing and pulling behind her gives insight to others about their lives. It is a story in which April refuses to see herself as a victim but instead tries to summon the courage and resilience to reinvent herself. She works with TedX and her topic, The Brutal Reality of Believing Your Own Fake News shares how to break free from the lies we tell ourselves that create lives of that are unfulfilling.