Are You Ready to Begin Again?

Are You Ready to Begin Again?

October 7, 2014 0 By April Kirkwood

Don’t cover it up!


I lie in bed alone one early morning with my teacup besides me listening to the sounds of morning. The geese chirping outside my window and the birds welcoming another day.

But this day, as I ponder a second before the chaos of the day resumes, I feel oddly different.

A moment of intrigue and a second of pain shoots through my body, I realize there is much more inside of me waiting to come out which needs work.

Quite frankly, I am always a bit shocked when this happens. I thought I was healed from my childhood, healed from my parents, healed from all of the stuff countless folks like me buy the self-help books for, see their therapists, and attend their house of worship to arrive at the temple of peace.

It’s surprising because I cruise along for a few years thinking I’ve arrived and then something sneaks up and says to my spirit, “April, not so fast, I’m still here hiding behind your smiles and charms. It’s time to get to get real. It’s time to get moving, you’ve rested enough. We have more learning and healing to do.”

As an educator, I’ve become used to the phrase, ‘lifelong learner’ but maybe we are also all continually in the process of ‘lifelong healing.’ I’ve been writing a book recently and the process has been nothing short of earth shattering revealing details and ghosts I thought I had buried with yesterday’s drama.

As I write, I realize how much grief is left unhealed and the job ahead of me. Maybe, that’s what life is about though… it could just be the very process of sorrow, rest, light, healing. Each loss, each tear, each fall, and then somehow when you least expect it, the crack of your heart opens.

The Universe rejoices, “YES, you’re up.” “Now can we begin?”

How do you begin again?

  • The next time you come ‘undone’ let it go. Don’t cover it up.
  • Nothing is more important then that moment.  Don’t cover it up.
  • Cry, scream, and howl at the moon for she is the feminine spirit.  Don’t cover it up.
  • Find a person who has your eyes and don’t cover it up.
  • Let their eyes touch yours.  Don’t cover it up.

KEY: Time is an illusion, it will keep repeating itself until you don’t cover it up.

Take the stuffing out of your key hole and don’t cover it up.

So, now, when someone asks who I am, I will say,

“I’m a life long learner due to the process of life long healing.”

Love ya,

April of course

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