Are You My Lover?

Are You My Lover?

October 18, 2014 0 By April Kirkwood

Frankie Valli and April pictures 001 copy

Why can’t you find lasting love?

In a world where we can buy absolutely anything at the touch of a button (with enough cash), why can’t we find love and keep it?

For me and maybe you, the answers lie in one simple theory:


After passing up the good guys who really cared, I kept falling deeply for the bad boys who never WOULD deliver what I needed and deserved.  That is until I came upon a theory that shed some light into my darkest past and gave me hope of finding my bliss in a relationship.  A term, which as a counselor, I never put much stock in before, as I don’t have a lot of duck clients.  But after years of being brought to my knees in total exhaustion hungering for real love, I studied, researched, and prayed for answers.  I found the theory called IMPRINTING and it made perfect sense to me.

Perhaps you too are a victim of IMPRINTING!

Just like the ducks who are forever devoted to the first thing they see when they are born as though it were it’s Mom; we too have a period in our development that we attach to a person as a love object.  This object determines our future thoughts and feelings about romance.

(Sad but true, lust and passion are learned behaviors. It’s a bummer to realize, I know.)

Though many of us out grow it, some, like me, take years to figure it out and move forward; years wasted enduring senseless pain, frustration, and heartbreak.

So, let’s see if you could be stuck in the normal imprinting stage?



  • part of the normal development in adolescence when you learn about lust and romance somewhere between 7-12 years of age.
  • Is not always directly linked to biological parents or caretakers but can be anyone from a celebrity to a big brother’s best friend.
  • Is credited for what we believe and look for in a love partner as adults.
  • Is credited for both positive and negative behaviors in the area of romance picking partners that aren’t always we is best for us.
  • Is difficult to remove from our consciousness.
  • is the cause of many breakups, heartaches, and unfulfilled fantasies.

That is what the book, Big Girls Do Cry and why my affair with Frankie Valli matters to you.   Through my journey aka naivety and my bravery to share with you the intimate details of my three decade romance with the incredible famous and talented Mr. Frankie Valli of The 4 Seasons, I hope you will find the answers to some of the nagging questions and solutions to why you or someone you know can’t find lasting love.

Or, I just may ask you, ‘are you my lover?’


Quack, Quack, Quack,


April of Course

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