How Do You Get Your Ex Back?
So you want them back?
Here are some tips to get your loved one back into your arms!
It can happen but you need to have one special quality to get your plan in action.
What is it?
S E L F – C O N F I D E N C E
Sometimes people do get back together and you may be one of them. But you have to have one big quality going for you in order to tackle this project and put your plan into action. I want to be sure that you realize, whether or not you rekindle your romance, you’re okay. You need to have a lot of self confidence. You are going to have to be really strong and secure in yourself because you may be wishing for something that is not ever going to happen.
So is it worth it?
Love is always worth it if both people want the same thing. The road to love is never easy. If it were, then everyone would have it and it wouldn’t be so precious.
Ask yourself this,
“Why Do You REALLY want to reconcile with your honey?
Is it because you’re lonely? Is it because you figured out what love really is? Is it because you decided that you really want them? Is it because you’ve realized where you messed up?
Think about the part you played in the breakup? It’s important for you to realize that it usually isn’t a one man show in relationships. That’s why we call them relationships.
That being said, if you are in order with a healthy self esteem, willing to go the distance and giving it time it’s time to get going.
Are you ready?
Now we’re going to share what you can do to manifest your dreams of reconciliation.
Give them their space.
You can’t just pounce back in and say, “Hey, I love you. I’m sorry. I want to get back together with you.” You have to ease into this if you are going to couple up again. Nice and easy is your best strategy! You can’t scare the bejesus out of somebody and you don’t want to get them back based on fear because you insinuate that they will never find anyone better then you. Also, forget the pleading and begging. You’ll look pathetic. This is not a country ballad. It’s your life.
Counselor’s Tip: There is a little bit of game and mystery about love. I want you to keep that mystery about you a bit. Don’t put it all on the table the first time you reach out to them. Too much ice cream makes one sick.
Create a judgment free zone.
If do have the opportunity to actually begin a dialogue with this person, don’t use “you” statements. For example, saying something like, “Well, we wouldn’t have broken up if you didn’t cheat.” or comments like, “We wouldn’t have broken up if you had lied to me or you were never home or you did drugs or you…..! You get it! When you make a judgment about somebody, even if you’re trying to get it out on the table the right way, you’re blaming them. Ouch! When you judge somebody, what happens is one person has to be wrong and the other person, right. This is not a tactic that elicits an open heart. No judgment zone, no playing the blame game. It will not work in reconciliation.
Do not give ultimatums.
You can’t just blurt out, “Either we’re going to get back together or I’m never going to call you again.” Or, “Either you’re going to see me tonight to talk this through, or this is the last you’ll hear from me.”
Do you recall when you were a little kid and someone told you, “No, you can’t do that!” You did the opposite. If you put pressure on them you might just get this response, “You didn’t just say that to me. I haven’t spoken to you in eight months and now you’re telling me to meet you or else you’re not going to call again. Hell no. Bye-bye.”
Open your heart if it feels right, “I’ve been thinking about you.” “I’ve been thinking about some of the things that have happened between us and I really still care for you deeply and I’d like to see if there’s any way we can salvage this.” Love is hard to find. You get more bees with honey than vinegar. If you love them, let them know you love him, but not overly aggressive.
Don’t be surprised if they’ve been seeing someone else. In fact, they might’ve fallen in love with someone else. They may hate your guts. Go Slow, slow. It does it like the tortoise and the the rabbit and the hare. Bubba.
Never use jealously.
Jealously never works and I don’t know why we all do it. I’ve done it in my younger years. Putting pictures on instagram and facebook is not wise. Showing you and someone else getting all mushy and on top of each other and bumping and grinding and looking like you’re having a blast with a significant other is going to back fire.
There should be no games in love. Love is beautiful. Love is sensual, love. His spiritual love is passionate. Love is not hateful, is not resentful, is not revengeful. Make sure your love is in order to reach out to love somebody else.
This is the most important point to remember when trying to win back the love of your life.
Go about your business with self confidence. Get involved in what you used to do. Be the person they fell in love with. If you were charismatic, played sports, were in top shape, totally cool, funny, be it. I mean I am most attracted to somebody personally that has a good self image and appears to be enjoying his own company. This lighthearted aura is an energy that draws others to you. Others see you and think, “Whatever they’ve got, I want to drink some of that in.” Happiness, freedom, growth, enlightenment, encouragement, raising somebody else up to be their best self is contagious.
How to get your EX back?
Last but not least, have Fun! Love is supposed to be fun. Remember, do you really love them? Why do you love them? Is it for the right reasons? Go about your life, be you. Don’t be pushy. jealous catty, sarcastic, or judgmental.
Give it a chance. If it doesn’t work, guess what? You just became your best self.
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Until we meet again:
I love you. I praise you. I appreciate you.
You are God’s child. Great things happen to you.
If you let it, nothing can stop it.
So it is.
Love and light,
April Of Course and the ALK Team
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About The Author
April Kirkwood, LPC is a vetted therapist, published author, and TedX speaker providing innovative methods untiling Eastern and Western practices with researched based counseling theories. Her one of a kind content is creating a movement that wakes up others from their drab sleep state to a new awareness and vitality for seeing their story with joy and gratitude. She is an advocate for others who have been affected by early childhood exposing its effect on adult romance. Her philosophy and treatment is a refreshing blend identifying the mind, soul, and body connection through practices of awareness, awakening and play therapy. Her podcast, The April Kirkwood Show ‘Soulfully Yours’, is on Stitcher, Itunes, and SoundCloud, and Buzzsprout debuts July 2019. The inspirational handbook, The Guide to Living in the Now can be purchased at www.AYRIAL.com. Her memoir, Working My Way Back To Me, is an inspirational tale that sheds light on universal struggles involving love, sexuality, addiction, and mental health. April’s reckoning with an emotionally destructive relationship that harkens to her early childhood, and the women pushing and pulling behind her gives insight to others about their lives. It is a story in which April refuses to see herself as a victim but instead tries to summon the courage and resilience to reinvent herself. She works with TedX and her topic, The Brutal Reality of Believing Your Own Fake News shares how to break free from the lies we tell ourselves that create lives of that are unfulfilling.