Signs Pointing Toward a Dead End In Your Relationship
The saying, “It’s a long good-bye” is true because most of us can’t see the woods from the trees until ‘Elvis’ or ‘your honey’ has left the
building. By then it’s usually too late and the only option you have is to separate your belongings and figure out your next move. (No,
keying their car is NOT a wise option.)
However, here are seven gestures that can indicate that you are about to be tossed out in the cold.
With these signs, you have a real opportunity to be one step ahead of the impending crash. You can regain your power and decide if and when to hit the breaks to avoid heading towards a dead-end relationship. If you want you and you alone can restart your beloved’s motor
so they are heading towards you not away from you.
The Fade Out
#1 The first clue that your lover is pulling away is that you find them calling you more and more by your first name. The echo of that gushy, silly pet
name they once cooed you have disappeared. It’s as though they have amnesia about the juicy, lovey-dovey secret stuff you shared. Now it feels as though you are back to square one on a first name basis. This indicates their desire to forget the wonderful times because they are getting the courage to give you the boot. No, not Louboutin boots! This boot is going to hurt, not just your feet, but your entire soul.
The Busy Bees
2. They have become what I call “Busy Bees.” They are really zooming everywhere just to avoid touching base with you back home at the hive. If you push them to move closer emotionally during their day they sweetly reply, “I’m so slammed at work. I don’t have even a second to spare.” If that doesn’t make you pull your stinger back in, your continued requests are met
with harsh disdain, “I would think you’d be proud of my commitment to make a better life.” Bulls-h-t! Everyone has a minute or so to text someone they love. It has to make one wonder where else they are getting their honey.
The Sail Away
#3 Next comes what I call ‘the sail away.’ Your S.O. doesn’t seem to feel the need to be as significantly present in joining in your activities. Excuses are the norm, “I think I’m going to change my yoga studio. I like the smoothies they serve better there. You can stay at that one. You love it. It would be ridiculous for you to move.”
They wave happily goodbye with a skip in their step like a kid at play. Why? They have just cunningly done ‘the sail away’ without one single look of disapproval on your face. Bon voyage, pack your bags, your ship has just about left the harbor forever. A tsunami in your life is about to strike.
#4 Even more unsettling are the signs that they are giving up when they are at home. It’s beginning to feel like pulling teeth for them to show up at family get to together. It’s as though they’d rather have a root canal than have to face your parents, siblings, or closest friends. You wonder, “What is going on?” Your partner has taken an emotional shot of novocaine and has numbed out of your world. It’s not a dental issue he needs, it’s a truth serum.
Three Is A Crowd
5. That leads us to gifts for holidays, especially the ones you both shared privately. Little notes on the kitchen table with hearts remembering your first date or the first time you moved in together? It’s as though there is now a shortage of paper and pens at your place. In truth, the heart is still around but just not focussed on moments you once shared. I mean, seriously, there’s only so much love to pass around! Two is company and three is a temporary condition of insanity until someone leaves the room out of exhaustion and disappointment
#6 Do you remember when you both enjoyed hours talking and visualizing exciting places to travel, building your dream home, or what pondering together what life will be like in twenty years? Silence is golden. There is more being said here then you may want to recognize. Your significant other no longer envision themselves in your future but doesn’t know how to verbalize it so it’s ignored. Statistically, more men than women are passive aggressive. The outcome is that the elephant in the living room gets bigger and bigger until it sucks the air out of both of you. If your partner has become too quiet? Beware of the calm before the storm and stop appeasing him with peanuts.
Three’s A Crowd
#7 Last, but certainly not least, is the whole infidelity issue. If your partner is not screwing you, they are screwing someone else. The red flags include changes in their behaviors. You no longer have to remind them to get a haircut. They have a renewed dedication to turning off their phones and computers when they go to bed or are out. The most obvious sign of infidelity is a loss of interest in sex with you. They don’t bug you for it anymore. They seem to lack interest in it. Often, they come home totally exhausted from wherever they told you they were. A quick shower as soon as they get home is always a cautionary clue you need to investigate.
Yes, SEX is a primal drive that can override logic putting children, money, and history on the bottom of their priority list. The rush of passion is a force that has created wars, caused murders, and lost millions in assets. Never
underestimate its power to separate and divide you from your loved one. Isn’t it nice to know your doggy is faithful no matter what!
Often, the main reason one partner comes to a fork in the road is that one of this threesome has to go? Usually, the pressure the ‘other one’ they are snooping becomes intolerable. By the way, “Sharing” is still not welcomed among most couples and no one in their right mind will put up with it forever. These are the gestures disinterested partners give. Be aware of them so you aren’t blasted out of the water in shock without a survival net.
Still, I want you to remember that no one should lie to you, ignore you, or cheat on you. Couples that love and respect one another work out differences without resorting to such destructive behaviors.
You are a valuable, fabulous human
Think about this, “If someone truly doesn’t want you, why would you
want them?” Other than hurt pride, which does pass, nothing is worth your
personal integrity and self-worth.
Good luck in love! It is wonderful and I
know it does last for many of us.