Holistic Steps for Resolving Anger
The Way of Enlightenment and Steps For Resolving Anger
(With me, April of Course)
When I found out that my soon to be ex-husband was dating my cousin, after we had been intimate the night before, I totally felt like I lost consciousness. I couldn’t even process the words spewing out of my mouth when he came to tell me they were planning to marry. To say the least, I handled it badly. Ok I was vicious and filled with unbridled rage. In truth, I was hurt and all I wanted was to punish him.
I did everything wrong and my bad behaviors still make me wince when memories of that time creep up on me.
Inside, I felt broken beyond my wildest imagining. He had had an affair before this but my cousin. That was over the line.
However, it did not give me the right to want to hunt him down and gut him like a fish. What I did do was lower myself to a dark place which is a off the path of light.
I didn’t want to show up like that! I don’t want it in my book of life! I don’t want it lodged in my DNA and I didn’t truly want to hurt him.
Inside I knew it was wrong. How? Because it felt like shit. I cared for him. He is the father of my children. We had been together for eighteen years.
Since then, time has passed and I opened my soulful self to desire to know more how to act in love. Perhaps these practices will assist you in your adventure of enlightenment.
Enlightenment does not mean perfection.
I’m not perfect; far from it. But now as a watcher with a growing sense of awareness I sometimes catch myself. When I slip off the path, I get back on more quickly and the time between ‘oops’ and ‘yes I see’ shortens.
So I’ve created simple steps that I personally use as well as with clients. I found these to be very beneficial guiding through those moments when you actually want to seek revenge with words that cut and destroy another’s sense of self worth.
Stop and quiet down
When you and that person are in at odds, nothing you can say or do at the moment is going to make it better. The negative vibes are flying and they will only take you to a place where words are spoken that will damage both your souls and the lessons you are called to work on together.
Instead find someone else to vent with. (Someone that isn’t on solely on your team.) Calm down. I’m not saying you have to agree with them just don’t say or do things that will take your to the point of no return. Research states that when you are in the throws of a fight you can’t even think rationally let alone come to a sound conclusion.
Remember the Love
Rejection, embarrassment, betrayal have a way of fogging your memories of love. Think about all of the other people that care for you. Find them and let their warm feelings replace the negative ones in the present.
Be the Love
Go out and play with your dog, watch your favorite movie, and find ways to share your love with others. Nature is your friend. She’s always kind and never stands you up! She is your BFF. Let her help you.
Give Love to others
Pay it forward simple gesture of kindness. Open the door for a lady at the grocery store. Let someone cut in front of you on the highway or subway. It will lighten your energy as well as theirs.
Get Real with Yourself
He said she said accusations and attacks to one another are usually very one sided. It’s natural to want to see only your side of the story. But even if you are correct, this need for justification and blaming will not make your relationship better. It will not increase the feelings or love we are sent to give to everyone!
Note: Become aware of nonverbal communications. They are as powerful as a gunshot through the love.
We’re in this together. Enlightenment isn’t a choice. It’s the way!