No matter how prepared you try to be when you are forced to face people when life has turned upside down, there is always going to be someone who knocks you on your ass by asking blunt, to the point questions about your life.
Like a bug under a microscope it feels as though the entire world is listening and harshly judging you. It’s a sickening dilemma.
I felt this way when I did the WGN Morning Show recently in Chicago. Dan and Dean hit me with some serious accusations about statuary rape and my underage sexual relationship with icon, Mr. Frankie Valli. I choked figiting with my collar and legs. I now know of a million ways to spin his comments into a win for me but I didn’t. Still after all of these years, I get that way when I’m taken off guard. In this particular case, I froze. The only thing I could think of live on the air was, “God, is Frankie going to be pissed when he sees this.” Cool girl had turned nerdy girl in one split instance.
I now kind of understand what Monica Lewinsky must have gone through with the Bill Clinton affair. (Oh, I wish I would have kept my blue dress!)
Has something like that ever happened to you?
Someone asks you something and you have no clue on what to say!
The aftemath still leaves me a bit shaken however, I’ve come up with three tips to remember when the unspoken questions bust a move in your next conversation.
Bill Cosby, this one’s for you too!
Three Tips to help you survive the awkward questions in life:
With social media the world is transparent whether you are a super star or a normal person – eyes are always watching and people just can’t seem to keep from gossiping and lying. But enough about them. Let’s keep it on what we can change and that is only you and yourself. To put it bluntly, Lying is wrong. If you are like me, I can’t even always remember my lies. I always get caught in that web, and I feel worse than if I would have just shut my mouth from the beginning. So if all else fails, say nothing but do NOT lie. Besides, telling the truth is liberating for the soul.
Be Kind and Fair.
Life is about perspective and the person directing the question may actually not have intended it to be inappropriate, condescending, or offensive. Or they may be stupid or cruel. When words are used like swords, it’s difficult to use sound judgment. Bite your tongue and think before you snap back in defense of yourself. Some of those who viewed the interview felt Dan and Dean were bullying me. Others felt the contrary. I still can’t make up my mind. Besides, the peacemakers will inherit the earth.
I wasn’t prepared for the tough questions. I admit I usually think well on my feet but I get in a comfort zone and forget to be ready to dodge the bullet. Expect the unexpected. Raise all negatives. Give brief answers that can’t be split into sound bites. Also, never let them do your own makeup and research about vocal and appearance strategies for TV or radio. Study your message. What do you want listeners to do after they hear you? Make it clear, concise, and simple to understand. Finally, get ready for the haters. Besides, intelligence is sexy.
I’m pretty sure we are on own worst enemies. I’m humiliated about quite a few things in my life. But I’m quite proud of my truth and my pain.
Does that make sense to you?
Now go out there and kick ass.
April of Course