The Stages Of Aging And Your Happiness

We as humans are continually at odds with time!

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We might as well admit it, we don’t understand the purpose of time and are rarely content with whatever stage we are experiencing.

 As restless toe tapping, nervous teenagers we wanted the clock to hurry it up sure we were definitely missing out on something, anything more exciting than whereever we happen to be. This habit became a part of us. We were at odds with the tick of each second from then on. The bell in second period class lasted forever and so did every other activity we felt pressured to be involved in.

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Our tender minds continuously rambled with granduous schemes of finding bliss based soley on almighty Father Time:

  • When I graduate from college I’ll be happy.
  • When I fall in love, I feel content.
  • When I get the money, I’ll feel secure.”

Then, like a thief in the night, we blink squenting as if suddenly taking off our ultra cool shades now caught in the blinding sahara dessert of middle age.

In shock we stare frozen in amazement as:

  • The kids pack for college.
  • Our baby has a baby.
  • A parent passes away.
  • Our Career aspirations have passed us by.

Yet, we are still at odds with time.

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To make matters worse our very own bodies turned against taking sides with ‘Father Time.’  We pluck hairs growing in odd places and soothe back aches after tackling tasks that were once matter of fact living. Each morning the mirror reinforces the power of the calendar’s passing projecting a smoky faded reflection of our youth with wrinkles, thinning hair, and tired eyes now staring back at us.

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 What I’ve seen and experienced with my peers and myself the last two years have been neatly documented in the counseling files in my mind and I have derived that there are three general categories of how we handle the aging process.

How Do You Age?

1. The Runners?

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Runners are the males or females that are searching for something. Sad to say,  most of them haven’t a clue of what that is or where to get it.

I’ve got to give the ‘Runners’ kudos, nonetheless, for the passion they go about it.

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Signs of runner characteristics and behaviors include but are not limited to;

  • moving from home to home for no apparent reason
  • hitting the bars regulary/drinking to access
  • buying exotic cars
  • Lots of plastic surgery – way beyond the limits
  • Lots of tanning – way beyond access
  • Lots of spandex and high heels – way beyond access

The far worst character trait of runners is that it is virtually impossible for them to RELAX.

These folks usually work hard at being in fashionable, in the know, even to the point of looking OVER the top. To some they may look manic, hyper, and seem disconnected to source. They are out and about to the point of exhaustion; after all, they aren’t 25 or 35 any more.

Like it or not, time is the only nonrenewable resource!

2. The “Who cares.”

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The “Who Cares” group are content to hang out day in and day out in the same stretch pants, jogging suits.  Looking at themselves is an deep forgiveness for that extra10-15 pounds on their tummies and thighs. “It’s just a natural process of aging” they sigh as they pop open another cold one.

Who Cares:

  •  Are content with their looks. (They would never invest in a face lift or anything as superficial a makeover and their photo is very similar to their high school graduation picture.)
  •  Are unfit and unhealthy
  •  Are clueless about entertainment news or fashion trends.
  • Don’t use a computer/don’t trust them.

Their Motto: If it’s not broke, don’t fix it.

I’m not sure if they have competely given up competing with the status quo because they are tired or just clueless.    But, on some strange level, I can understand that.  Keeping up with the Jones can be exhausting. At a dinner party, they often feel at a loss with strangers because they lack knowledge about timely news

In general, If they like to eat; they eat. If they love books about birds, that’s the only books they read. You will never see them apologize for not knowing who Rhianna is.

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3. The “Integrated.”

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Affectionate couple smiling at camera

These middle-agers are the minority in terms of people I personally know. They somehow manage to see the big picture and have arrived.

Characteristics of Integrated:

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  •  They aren’t fanatical
  •  Are quiet in nature.
  •  Their presence exudes a peaceful kind of feeling.
  •  They don’t need to be right, make a point, or be the leader.
  •  They do exercise,
  •  They keep their nose in the world’s activities
  •  They  look healthy.
  •  They can stay home and be quiet or go out on the town.
  •  They aren’t reclusive but are exclusive.

Their MOTTO:

The elusive butterfly has come to stay and they are too filled with bliss to even notice the years flying by.

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Yes, Father Time is still at the helm in the physical world as a way to measure moments in our lives. Our cognitive understanding and knowledge of this universal theme in and of itself freaks most of us to the point of avoiding long visits at nursing homes, hospitals, and funeral homes.

Yes, We have never quite made friends with father time.

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How are you aging?

PS:  We’re here to learn the value of life, each moment, both the good and not so good.  Let’s get integrated; You and me!

If we’re lucky enough to see tomorrow, we can try it again.

Love,

April Kirkwood

Yes, Big Girls Do Cry

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April Kirkwood

About April Kirkwood

April Kirkwood LPC holds two masters and is presently working in the mental health focussing on both women’s issues as well as addiction. Her desire is to help others take the present, healing the past, and creating a wonderful tomorrow. Focus: child trauma, holistic methodology, sexual molestation and harassment.

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