Sometimes a situation occurs that crosses the line of what your’e willing to put up with. It’s violates your view of yourself and you feel absolutely terrible. For some It’s major event, like catching your partner cheating.
However, it’s not just the big blows to the heart that cause us agony. I have witnessed with myself and those around that it’s those little rejections and betraylas that have just as much gun powder to annilate our self worth. From the jealous frients to the teacher you publicly humiliates you in front of the class, these are the moments that add up to a giant queasy knot in our core. It messes with our heads and plummets our energy. Needless to say, you are not alone.
Everyone has been and will be hurt.
It’s part of the human condition.
Some pretend to have moved on but deep down in the secret place of their being, nothing could be further from the truth. Given the opportunity lingering vengence is unleased like a poison juice in our beings.
Forgiveness is easy to say, hard to do.
If left to it’s own devices, unforgiveness grows until it becomes part of your DNA, your essence, your persona.
Research states that each moment you hold a thought of rage, anger, and unforgiveness you release all the chemicals of the stress response. Each time negative thoughts occue adrenaline, cortisol, and norespinephrine enter the body.
When it becomes a chronic behavior, these chemicals limit creativity, problem-solving leads to depression, victimization, and helplessness.
But there is a way to move no matter what has happened to you or your loved ones and be mentally healthy.
Your lack of peace is caused by you wanting something else to have happened differently. Your cat is still alive. Your kids still live in the same town. You are still thirty-five.
Did you get that?
It’s a tough pill to swallow.
It leaves you in the driver’s seat of your own suffering.
I’ll say it again…your lack of peace is caused by you wanting something to have happened differently..
In short simplistic terms, this is what happens.
We make up imaginary scenes as we insist how things should be. It is a movie we’ve directed and starred in. When the cast of characters don’t play the parts we think they should, we are left with heartache.
Every time illusion this clashes with things as they actually are we feel pain.
Experiment with this idea.
We want someone to appreciate us.
When they don’t, we are upset.
Unforgiveness is caused by an illusion. It is a false picture of our expectations for life to be different than it is.
The KEY To Real Peace and forgiveness
First: Become an oberserver of your sorrow. Are you wishing something to be different? Witness your mental pictures and your grief.
Second: The way of peace means letting go of desire. If this idea makes you sad, that means you are on your way. It’s hard to up that false sense of aliveness.
But these stupid thoughts are controlling your emotions causing you pain.
“Why do You do that to yourself?”
Just as the morning sun dissolves the fog of the night, so shall this self-observation gives us a way to separate the pain from the “I.”
When we no longer resist the illusion and call it out, we understand it’s value. We realize we are somehow living out of harmony…living in a dream….
As time goes on, you will be less and less shocked and more and more at peace realizing you are fussing about what you want, not what you have.
This is the truth of forgiveness. This is the gift of longer life without depression, envy, regret, or pride.
Be present. See this illusion for what it is. Be happy in the NOW. Live a long life without depression, heart disease, anxiety, hostility.
Say good-bye to suffering and hello to contentment.
Have a blessed week.
April Of Course