People fall in love any time and just about everywhere.
It’s a mental epidemic we crave that leaves us dizzy and drunk with hope that we are meant for one another and this is ‘the one.’ Then way too often, the relationship wanes leaving us with far less then we had envisioned. We are once again disappointed, dazed, and confused as to where it all went wrong.
Have you ever said, “What was I thinking?”
I sure have.
I started wondering if most of us aren’t even sure what kind of person we’re looking for. Of course, most anyone could probably choose more wisely then I have. Let’s face it, most of us don’t score real high on logic in the midst of glasses of moscato, Luther VanDross playing, and stars shining in the sky. Most of the time, we basically stumble into relationships based on the wrong things – convenience, habit, sex, and fear.
And to make matters worse, even if we do know what we want, we meet people in places that give us little insight to who they are. Out of loneliness or foolishness, we jump in cold feet first. Nightclubs, the mall, the gym, social media all leave a lot of questions about who this person is you are letting into your private space.
I looked at all of the places I did and didn’t meet men. I figured in all of the information and time needed to make good choices picking a mate. I have already concluded that it is best to keep my head above my heart even when my heart is dancing three feet in front of my shoes.
My dancing heart has led me down many a dark street in the past.
The blueprint of the Water Cooler Romance seems to have some elements of finding a partner based on the real stuff that creates long lasting partnerships that last a life time.
Four Steps To Finding REAL Love at work:
1. Know the basics.
You know their demographics. Are they married? Did they really graduate from that college? Where is he from? Family history? Health issues?
2. Start out SLOW!
The guy who looked dorky at first becomes cuter and cuter as you get to know him. You may not have given this person a chance if you met at a party but now he’s become endearing to you. You think he’s adorable because you got an opportunity to take it slow and get to know him.
I wonder how many people we let slip through our fingers based on our incorrect first impressions. I know I’ve let many wonderful men pass me by because of my silly preconceived notions of the man I thought I wanted.
3. See character in action.
Does he show up to work on time? Call his Mom on her birthday? Get along with his peers. Follow directions. Is he trustworthy or do you catch him sneaking out early on Fridays, smoking in the lunch area, badmouthing his superiors?
Goodness is about character – integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people.
In my opinion, this is key to whether someone is a keeper.
4. Check the chemistry.
You can’t deny that there must be sparks of passion to make love bloom. Part of this chemistry is about your personalities enjoying each other’s company. Laughing, betting on football pools, holiday gatherings all are socially great and safe ways to see if there is sexual tension between you two.
PS: Always check your companies policies about office relationships.
PSS: These steps can be used in other venues if your kitchen area doesn’t overcome your brain.
April of Course