The Crazy Dream that gave me the ‘ok’ to write about Frankie Valli!

Two years ago I had a powerful dream. I know it was a ‘real’ dream but like most of us, I’m still grappling with what makes something real.  Perhaps what I am about to share was an authentic encounter in another realm. I know one thing, I shall never forget it.   Even to this very day three years later, this one experience keeps coming up like the sun in my waking consciousness giving me the energy and self- approval to keep going.

A few years ago living in South Florida, I was perplexed about the comments my girlfriend had made about the entire under age thing with Frankie and how she actually felt sorry for me that it ever happened. Up until then, foolish me, I stupidly saw the entire relationship as an honor of sorts.  Then, I saw the play, Jersey Boys, with my daughter and how it depicted the intimacys they shared about their ‘families’ on the road and it drove home a powerful message right to the center of my core. I thought, how wonderful for Frankie to be able to share his truth in the brilliant light of day to the world, not to mention how brave an act like this was.  “It must have been very healing for him,” I shared with my daughter over dinner after the show.  As a counselor, I know the power of journeling and the healing effects it can have to clear the mind.  So I thought to myself, “what if I write down my thoughts and feelings about my relationship backtracking to see where it leads.” If nothing else, it could help me shed some of the mixed up emotions I have about him and myself. The process of wriiting one short story took almost a year to write. I’m not a professional author so this was quite a challenge. A challenge that also involved many discussions with friends and family as I wrote, erased, cried, and wrote again.  I realize now, looking back, that enlightenment, healing, and creative adventures often start out slow and build momentim from their own creations almost like childbirth.  I was giving birth to my little piece of Frankie Valli and myself.

Now, If you’re not open to what is unseen, the spiritual side of reality, the entire concept of intuition, this may be the perfect time to change the channel, leave the room , and move on to another one of my blogs. This is where I am sure those who dislike anything that sounds “New Age” are going to vanish or send me hate mail.

I dreamt I was entering a dimly lit movie theater.  It was huge and the screen seemed gigantic.  The only light was from the projector room gazing down onto the empty grey screen. I looked up at the small penetrating ray of light so small yet so amazingly powerful to cast it’s light on the magnificent screen. I squinted my eyes and looked way to the tipy top of the theater.  I saw a shadow of a figure sitting in one of the seats.  I began to walk up carefully up the steps.  I was scared in the darkness not wanting to fall but knowing I must continue. The steps seemed to never up and up and up end until I finally got closer to the seat where I saw a man sitting with one hand under his chin looking rather bored.

“Holy shit” I gasped, it was Frankie himself sitting wearing a deep brown cashmere sweater, small collar and a few buttons.  The sweater was a warm rustic ginger brown color that made him look calm and serene.  He wasn’t old but rather more in his 50’s or 60’s looking very well and totally confident. I stood there speechless as I am most of the time in his commanding presence.  He didn’t move but his deep dark eyes looked up and he uttered assurdedly  in his Jersey voice, “I’ve been waiting for you.”

All of a sudden, bam I was back in my bed.  I sat up with the daze of sleep in my eyes. It was still dark outside but it didn’t matter to me.  My heart was pounding although awoken from a clap of thunder but the room was silent. “What?  What just happened?” I thought heavily breathing as though I just ran two blocks from the actual theater. I knew I was just listening to words I did not quite understand. ‘Why would Frankie be waiting for me?  What could be so significant to both of our lives that he would care to send me this sort of psychic email message.’ I searched for answers that only my heart knew.   Since I’m one of ‘those’ who believe in all things and syncronicity of life, I froze and fell back down into the pillows and blankets as though from a high wire into a safety net telling myself all was well wondinering if I had actually just spoken to my first love.

I decided to continue to write, to tell our story, and to say, I love you Frankie, thanks for the experience, the dream and every second of it.

 

Permanent link to this article: http://aprilkirkwood.com/the-crazy-dream-that-gave-me-the-ok-to-write-about-frankie-valli/

A Phone Call from a Frankie Valli Fan!

How dare you talk about Frankie like that with the children around!

women smoking and screaming

I am flying off to do my first interview on The Inside Edition Show with Deborah Norville and I get off the plane with this voicemail from a New Jersey area code.  I immediately listened thinking it might be someone from the show.  Omg.  This female voice that sounded like a husky smoking gargle went off the chain on me.  She started off yelling, condemning me for letting this information out, of course, when the very week the movie, Jersey Boys came out. She says, “How could I do that to Frankie.”

Then she proceeds to scold me about my children and his children knowing about this. It was odd now in retrospect.  She didn’t say I was lying.  She said I was wrong for ruining Frankie’s big weekend.  Seriously!  I painfully listened to the voicemail a few times to make sure I got the message she was trying to convey.  Each time my stomach got a little sicker as though as I was inhaling the poison and tar lingering in her chest.  I couldn’t think about anything else for days.  Was she right?  Was I wrong to tell my story?  Why is it when men brag about their conquests it is considered a badge of honor.

When a woman reaches out with her story it is a breach of secrecy between a man and a woman.  And, who thinks our grown up kids don’t already know the truth.  Kids know more then we care to admit.  As for the caller, she ruined a few restful nights until my son said, “Mom, people are going to say crap like that.  It’s part of being in the public eye.  We love you and know you are a great person.  F. them Mom.”

So I pulled up my big girls panties and continue to write and share and love those who understand and walk past those who don’t.

Permanent link to this article: http://aprilkirkwood.com/how-much-should-we-tell-our-children/

Inside Edition Interview about Frankie Valli and the Truth!

Inside Edition brings you the news their way!  Wow!  That is an understatement.  After arriving, by the way they made all of the travel arrangement and paid for everything very professionally; I was ready for hair and make-up.

I absolutely loved the two ladies that worked on me but I definitely feel the curls needed brushed with a bit of teasing for some height and the pale shade of lipstick contrasted with the dark base made me look like Palm Beach Hag goes country.  A total disappointment when I saw it on the television.  No, let me rephrase.  A total freak out making me run to the mirror, look at myself, rush back to the tv and then to bed.  I looked awful.  I looked terrible.  OMG!  I didn’t just think that so did my entire world – family, friends, associates, and enemies.

Let me continue before you sign on the dotted line.  So, I get there and we begin to talk and talk and talk.  I left after a wonderful day of shooting believing that I got the correct message about the book, about me, about my mom, and about Mr. Valli.   This wasn’t a ‘let’s hit Frankie where it hurts’ book.  It’s a book about imprinting, learning about lust and romance and how it affects all of us via my story and the women who adored me beyond measure.  Sheesh!

As I dazed like a drunk listening, I found almost none of what I had talked about. The interviewer chatted on and on as I was shot nodding like an idiot with little words actually uttered from my lips.

Two points were completely distorted:

1. My mother didn’t just take me up to the bus to whore me out.  She said, “April Lynn if you are going to do this make sure you are on birth control pills and I’m going to take you to make sure you will at least be with Frankie and he knows we are aware of what is going on.

2.  When they asked if I still loved Frankie I commented, “I believe that once you have loved someone you always have love for them; so in that context, yes I will always have love for Frankie.”  I didn’t say I was in love with the man.

Pointers for your 15 minutes of fame:

1.  Ask to review anything before it goes out.

2.  Do own hair and make-up.

3.  Expect to be shocked.

Permanent link to this article: http://aprilkirkwood.com/inside-edition-interview-about-frankie-valli-and-the-truth/

April Kay Opens Up About Tell-All Frankie Valli Memoir

April Kirkwood2

“Jersey Boys,” the story of a group of Italian-American singers who escaped the hard mobbed-up streets of New Jersey through the power of rock and roll, hit the big screen at the start of summer. Clint Eastwood helmed the adaptation of the long-running. Tony Award-winning hit musical about the legendary vocal group, The Four Seasons, propelled by the inimitable falsetto of Frankie Valli.

The phrase “Rock and Roll” was a code name for sex in early R&B, and to some of his fans, Frankie Valli oozed sex. While Eastwood kept “Jersey Boys” clean: no sex, no drugs, just rock and roll, a new book remembers that when The Four Seasons hit towns, fans threw themselves at the stars. Years later famous rock fans like Pamela des Barres and The Plaster Casters made the term “groupies” a household name.

Last month, shortly after the film adaptation of the popular musical “Jersey Boys” hit theaters, April Kay announced that her book, “What I Did For Love: Why My Affair with Frankie Valli Matters,” would be published this summer. The book details her alleged decade-long romance with Four Seasons lead singer Frankie Valli. April claims she met Valli when she was 12-years-old, after a childhood during which she believes her parents were grooming her to meet him.

Despite requests from DailyOffbeat, Frankie Valli’s management declined to comment on the singer’s alleged relationship with Kay.

According to April

“Valli didn’t notice her when they first met because she was too young to catch his eye. But, by the time she was 16, the persistent fan got herself backstage where, she said, the rock and roll singer seduced her. The author and radio host said she was his lover from that moment on, even after Valli got married. The film “Jersey Girls” shows Valli juggling his time between a wife and a mistress. The film’s trailer also teases at consent laws. When one of the band, not Valli, asks two young women who are flirting with him how old they are, one answers, “together or separately.”

Daily Offbeat is not a magazine to begrudge a rock and roller from getting a little on the road. We reached out to Valli’s media team and will follow up if they reply but we know we’re a small outfit and might go under their radar.

April Kay graduated Youngstown State University with two master’s degrees in education in both school and community counseling. She currently does “workshops and presentations about romantic love and intimacy.” April helps people remove imprinting, which is when things are learned, usually as a form of conditioned response, at young age and imprinted on a person’s choices for the rest of their lives. Such imprinting affects sexual choices and has been called the root cause of most sexual fetishes. April hopes to help people “learn more about healthy love.”

The author spoke exclusively to Daily Offbeat in advance of the book’s release, to explain, to paraphrase the title of her first book “why my affair with Frankie Valli matters to you.”

Daily Offbeat: Your press release says you were brought up by your family to be a Frankie Valli groupie, are we talking more than growing up in a house that listened to a lot of music?

April Kay: As far as being a Frankie Valli groupie, I can’t say it really was that. At least not in my mind. I actually imprinted to him and the rest of my life was in sort of a pursuit to either marry him or someone that was close to the imprint. In fact, I was brought up in what might be considered a highly Pentecostal religious home spending my summers at revivals, Bible school, and working in the garden. We weren’t allowed to really listen to a lot of music. However, my parents divorced when I was young and my father played in a band. Therein explains a part of my little dream.

It seems your mother was trying to get you to catch Valli’s attention from the time you were eight? Did she have any idea what she was starting?

As far as my mom, who adored me and lived for me to be more than she was, let’s just say she was the Gypsy Rose of Ohio. My mom, I believe, was born with mental health issues. As years went by she did like so many others do, self-medicate. She also stated that there was some sexual abuse but that cannot be verified. I do know that my mother was never really happy and only glowed when I exceled. There was, therefore, a lot of pressure on me to do better, be better, and have a better life then a factory worker at Packard Electric.

Did you family have connections in the music industry to get you back stage?

I have no connections in the music business and the fact that a tiny girl on chicken farm from a working class family came to know Frankie and continue to be a presence in his life for three decades is quite remarkable.

In the ads, “Jersey Boys” says there were only two ways to make it out of the neighborhood, music and the mob, did you see any of that?

The part of the mob plays a huge part of my life’s story, the book, “What I Did for Love” and my imprinting. It’s all there in black and white. Bada Bing!

How were you seduced by Frankie Valli? Were there already expectations that go along with being identified as a groupie?

I was seduced by Frankie back stage at the Stambaugh Auditorium as he delicately untangled my seventies chains that hung onto my chest. I was speechless and spell bound to say the least. I was 16 when we were first intimate at The Holiday Inn in Youngstown, Ohio. This was right around the block from my home.

How were you groomed to be a groupie, as opposed to being groomed to just being a fan?

I was groomed to be a star. I wasn’t groomed to be a groupie. That is so different. My mother made me walk with books on my hand daily and sent me to all kinds of modeling and finishing schools. I was in pageants. I was crowned Miss Ohio Teenager and about every other local pageant we could drive to. I was feature twirler, head majorette, teen board queen, etc. etc. Becoming who I am today was part of my training which is now part of my DNA.

You called your mom the Gypsy Rose of Ohio, were there other groupies in your family?

There are no other groupies in my family. They are all church going, hardworking, no nonsense folks. Very Midwest. But as I sit here discussing these questions with my grown up daughter who now lives in Brooklyn. She sites that I groomed her to be a groupie because of Frankie. And so it continues. My daughter is marrying a musician from Manhattan.

Is the music of Frankie Valli triggering to memories or specific emotions beyond what a “normal former girlfriend” would feel?

As I write these questions, the book, and the conversations….so much floods into my mind and my heart. It was so painful as first; now I am doing better with all of it. That is part of the healing that started this project. I wanted to write it down, to get it out, to cry, and then move on.

Would you consider yourself psychologically damaged? Are you angry?

I am not angry. I am hurt. I am healing. Yes, I would love to chat with Frankie alone. But I don’t think it will ever happen. It is a life time process I think. I think we all have areas of pain that need addressed. I do as well.

Is this what drew you into counseling?

I went in to counseling because I really needed it. It was a time when psychological help was considered taboo.

Have you ever run into other people who have gone through similar circumstances?

I would love to have other women share their stories of the effect powerful men have had on their lives as well as the entire imprinting theory.

What would you say to people who question the stories and the timing of your book against the opening of a major motion picture?

I started writing this book two years ago. I was shocked as heck when I heard about the movie. I must say it is a coincidence and I understand how others think it was planned. I don’t have the inside track to Frankie’s career though. Wish I could say I did.

The photographs on your page show someone who could have been a regular life-long fan, has anyone from Frankie Valli’s camp commented on your allegations?

I wrote to Frankie a few months ago and wanted his approval for the book. I never heard from him or his camp. I did get a nasty call from a New York voiced female. I wrote her apologizing for some of the misconceptions the press have printed. I would never hurt Frankie in a million life times.

Permanent link to this article: http://aprilkirkwood.com/superfan-april-kay-opens-up-about-tell-all-frankie-valli-memoir/