Michael Phelps lies versus the truth; how to tell the difference

Michael Phelps recent DUI

“How to tell if your guy is lying!”

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Michael Phelps was arrest a second time for DUI after apologizing with the sincerity of an innocent school boy with his  first brush with DUI charges and a photo where he is most definitely smoking weed.

And so another sad story of cute, intelligent man who has a dark side.

 Where are the men who mean what they say and say what they mean!

We all have dark sides and some of us even dare to embrace them but most, like Michael and maybe your guy, their first response is usually to deny, deny, deny like a fish under water.  

Their MO: If you can’t see it, it never happened!

“It wasn’t me creepin’wit your friend.”

“It wasn’t me who lied about the bet I placed on the game.”

Blah, blah, blah!

So how do we tell when our man, or our friends and family for that matter are down right dirty face lying?

The grim truth is that research no longer supports that all of the crap you’ve been told to for like; long pauses, eyes looking down at the floor, or them picking at their clothes as signifiers is WRONG.

Looking at a person’s verbal and nonverbal cues provides only about a 54 % accuracy rate; which is about the same for guessing if they are big fat liars.

Shit!  I hear ya sister!

So what can you do to figure out if your lover is under cover with another feline?

Here’s a few police techniques that with a little practice will make you as powerful as and FBI agent.

1.  Ask a question that they wouldn’t expect:

You ask your honey how was his night with the boys and where he went.  Then you ask where the bathroom is that club or the band – something he hadn’t thought of.

2.  Let him talk and volunteer information.

If he tells you his old girlfriend was at the club, he’s probably telling the truth and hasn’t anything to hide so he brings it to the table. (Unless he’s a master mind)

3.  Look for behaviors that are totally unlike the normal mannerisms.

He hasn’t gotten dressed up for work in five years, now he has a new wardrobe and is up, never a complaint and rip roaring ready to head to the office.

4.  Use your intuition.

I think most women turn their backs on the truth even though they intuitively know the real deal. (The hang up phone calls; the mysterious credit card charges.)

I think  ourselves deny, deny, deny because it’s just too painful. We love them or loved them.  They may be an asshole now but once they were our ‘one and only.’ Or, by facing and admitting what’s happening it creates a scenario that calls for action on our part and the million dollar question:

What do I do now with the no good son of a bitch?

Remember holding on longer then you should creates passive aggressive acts of anger that makes you depressed and eventually ill;  not to mention pissed off as all get out often taking it out on those we care for!

 Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horn and cut off his balls – or get an excellent attorney.

I swear, I’m not lying.

See ya soon,

April of Course

Permanent link to this article: http://aprilkirkwood.com/michael-phelps-lies-versus-truth-tell-difference/

Why it’s Good to Fall; Just Watch Beyonce

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It happens to all of us!

Even Divas!

Even in front of the entire world!

Just imagine a moment where all eyes are on you.

 You feel like you’ve got this and it’s your time to shine. You’re pumped up, confident, and ready to show your best to the lovers and the haters.

All of a sudden your worst nightmare comes true.  You fall flat on your face.  Whether it’s a corporate presentation, meeting your future in-laws, or an intimate moment with your dream come true.

It’s ok.  Just remember the queen of sisterhood, Beyonce and watch the videos of her stumble, tumble, roll, and recovery on YouTube at a recent concert and she got up off her ass and kept moving.  What a diva of the best kind; one that does what it takes to make it happen.

So, here’s why falling on your face is ok and not just ok but a real benefit to you the rest of your life.

1.  It’s a wake up call.

A puffed up head makes you top heavy and less beautifully charming then you truly are.  Pipe down princess, no one is perfect. A healthy does of failure keeps us all in check.

2. You become more likable.

America loves to support the underdog.  We support a come back with a forgiving smile and an old college pat on the back.  You gain the support and respect of some who would have never given you the chance otherwise.

3.  You gain inner strength.

The ability to get back up and keep moving in the face of failure, embarrassment, and possible rejection takes balls of steel.  These are the times that separate the mediocre from the great and you are one of the victors of what you just experienced.  Kudos.

4.  You find out who your friends are.

Like the country song, ‘who will come out and get you when you run out of gas in the middle of the night;’ you find out who are your friends. Nixon said, ‘if you have one good friend in your life, consider yourself lucky.’  After Watergate, he had to face us all on national television and he survived.  I’m sure he spoke with experience about who stayed by his side, in the face of his mistakes, and who fled to the other team.

5. You realize life goes on.

The morning always follows even the darkest night and you will have to get up and keep moving.  Well, perhaps a few days crying in bed under the covers wont’ hurt; but you will have to return to the real world.  Be brave.  Gather your inner lion and roar.  It’ll feel good, I promise…eventually.

Now get back out there and give them all you’ve got!

I wish Beyonce a speedy recovery.  I’m sure she is sore as hell.

Love,

 

April of Course

The girl who tells you the truth about love no matter how much it hurts.

 

 

Permanent link to this article: http://aprilkirkwood.com/good-fall-just-watch-beyonce/

Why Did George Clooney Pick Amal?

George Clooney picks his life long mate and it isn’t you!

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Why?

If you’re like my friends, we always wonder what makes men ask one woman for their hand in marriage and not another.  Is it looks?  Is it sex?  Is it brains?

And no other man is more interesting to ask those questions that the handsome 53 year old George Clooney who married  35 year old Amal Alamuddin, human rights attorney in a romantic dreamy wedding that we all wish we could have.

I mean who doesn’t love George!

So, the question at hand, why her? I did some research and found some interesting facts about George.

  • He was married to Talia Balsam of Mad Men before so it’s not like he’s afraid of commitment.
  • He’s dated exotic women before, one from France and the other from Italy so it’s not like he was just taken with her fresh mannerisms and interesting background.
  • It’s not just brains that brought him to the knees of Ama. He dated another woman who was in law and I am sure there were others who were very savvy and intelligent.

I reduced it to two big things and ladies we have no control over them:

1. Timing

Timing is everything and it’s as illusive as a butterfly in the the fields; it’s just flying by you or it isn’t! George was ready to settle down.  He had enough of the glamour, the trysts, the travels into unknown waters with new and was ready.

2. Destiny

The idea of a spiritual world, karma, and mates that are called to another to work on their lessons together makes sense to me.  But then I believe in ghosts…so this may sound absurd to you but either way, we have no control of it.  It just is…like wind.  The breeze of ‘meant to be’ taps on someone’s shoulder and we as ladies cannot alter that fact.

So, What we can do ladies?

Gulp, listen up and put on your big girl panties!

Be happy for a couple that have found another; truly it is a mystery.

Be happy for what you have learned about love yourself, even if he broke your heart…you got some great experiences out of it.

Be happy because your perfect mate is out there and when the time is right know he will find you.

Be happy and be the best you can be so like the wind, you can fly on the back of love, destiny, and timing and rejoice when you find your beloved.

“Congrats George and Ama and may you be blessed with many years of love and fun”.

Love always,

April of Course

Permanent link to this article: http://aprilkirkwood.com/george-clooney-pick-ama/

Are you a FOLO?

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I have a secret!

 I am a recovering FOLO addict!  

Just imagine my shock when I realized the truth!

I have been married, done the match.com game, worked the rooms, dated and partied with the best…all the while secretly holding the title, Miss FOLO!

Oh, what is a FOLO?

Well, if you have any of these qualities you may just a FOLO just like me:

  • Your good friend gets engaged and you make wagers with gal pals that it won’t last.
  • After a first date, a week goes by and he never calls.  You tally it up to, “He’s as ass.”
  • You’re an intelligent woman and you know when you will be ready for love.
  • As a little girl you created your perfect prince charming and you’re still waiting for the real deal.
  • Nice guys make you feel bored, there must be something wrong with him.
  • Bad boys scare the shit out of you but you have wet dreams about them any way.
  • You’re at a wedding, a hot redhead hits on your man…and you just get quiet and let it go…but you never see him again because he’s a just another hound!
  • He tells you he loves you madly and you don’t believe him.

Sign up for my free video series which airs Monday, October 6….right here!

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 “Never leave a room without sprinkling a little love and kindness in your path!” (Tweet it)

See you there!

April of Course

 

Permanent link to this article: http://aprilkirkwood.com/folo/

Third Times a Charm – Let’s Hope, Vanessa Williams is Engaged!

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Long time beauty queen, actor, singer, producer; 50 year old Vanessa Williams has just announced her engagement to her beau of one year.

Could it be?

Then if it could happen for her, it can happen for me and you!

Statistically, the third marriage is supposed to be the one that lasts and where people finally find the perfect fit. Let’s face it, practice makes perfect.

Now if one or two is going well, don’t throw out the baby with the bath water; but for a lot of us…this is great news.  There’s a lot of us who single and even slightly hopeful.

I’m so happy for Vanessa but I wonder why someone so educated, worldly, successful, and did I mention fabulous looking and extremely talented hasn’t found Mr. Right by the age of 50.  I wonder, if like me, she was imprinted at a young age and in her deep subconscious some incorrect messages about lust and passion were recorded. Those damn messages are difficult to erase.  Something like the cloud I would suspect!

So, like every counselor, I looked into her history and found something very interesting.

A bit of a scandal.

Do you know what it is?

Vanessa Williams was molested by a woman when she was ten years old.

Bingo!

She’s just like us.  You and Vanessa.  Me and Vanessa.  We’ve got shit to deal with the shit to heal.

The sad part, like me, Vanessa has been through two marriages with four children, and a no good SOB cheating husband.

Sound like you?

Well, she’s living proof and so am I that we find love.  But we must do certain things.  That’s what my book, Big Girls Do Cry, is about.

For now, I’m not engaged but I am on the way to a healthy self-image and learning to say NO, Stop that, I don’t want to in the face of possible rejection.

Ladies together wherever you are, let’s lift a glass and toast a 50 something goddess….

Vanessa, you go girl!  Congrats on the new love, the new life, and a new marriage.

Long live love.

Love always,

April K.

Permanent link to this article: http://aprilkirkwood.com/third-times-charm-lets-hope-vanessa-williams-engaged/

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