How To Avoid Relapse?

After Detox, Now What?

Relapse is defined as the resumption of heroin use after a period of abstinence.

Three stages of the relapse process:  Emotional, Mental, and Physical!

Emotional Stage:  May not feel like using but emotions are setting the stage of relapse.  Examples: feeling isolated, not going to meetings, poor health care, inability to sleep.

Mental Stage: Cravings often with inner dialogue wanting to use but knowing how the drugs have adversely affected their life.

Physical Stage:  They can no longer resist the desire to use.


Relapse Warning Signs

  • An upsetting event
  • Denial they still need help
  • Substituting other compulsive behaviors
  • Acting over emotional
  • Acting over intellectual
  • Feeling out of control
  • Negative all or nothing thinking, “I’ll never be able to stay clean.”
  • Lack of family support
  • Not receiving aftercare
  • Intense cravings
  • “Just Once” belief

If you relapse:

Do not think that this is failure; many schools of thought believe ‘relapse’ is a part of recovery.  In fact, in a study of heroin detox, of all of them, 91% reported a relapse, 59% occurred within one week of discharge.

Age of onset, heavy use of treatment, history of injecting, and not following aftercare were all factors of relapse in this study.

Remember:  Relapse is the a failure…you can begin again.


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What If We’re Wrong About Love?

Working My Way Back To Me:

 “Life With Love!”


The worst day of my life was when my Mom died.  As you read the book, Working My Way Back To Me, and the details of her divisive methods of wanting to emotionally control my life and that of my children’s, you will probably wonder if I possibly have lost my mind or am in denial.  None of those are accurate!  I love her and miss her deeply with all of the sorrow and pain thrown in!

When I got it,  I found my heart united with my soul and then I healed and got my inner smile back and saw her and others who seemed to want to hurt me in a different light.

You too can arrive to a place joy that overrides what others have done!

Hit “Reset” and ‘Welcome to life with love!’


Are You Ready To Bend Your Ear To Listen To Your Heart?

‘What If’ Exercise:

  1. We came here to learn lessons.
  2. We chose some of these lessons together before our entry into the world.
  3. We chose our parents and those who lovingly preplanned to come into our life to help us accomplish our spiritual goals.
  4. We as children thought our parents and caregivers knew everything and they were in truth stumbling with their own confusion about love.
  5. We came to accept the world as we saw it learning to forget our inner truth  as part of the divine plan of spiritual acceleration.
  6. What if we don’t really understand love at all because we haven’t learned about here?
  7. What if everyone has lessons thought they look drastically different in terms of spiritual growth?


‘What if’ questions for you to explore your journey!

  1.  I honestly believe that  love is __________________________________________________________________



2.  I have fallen in love based on_____________________________________________________________________



3.  My parents’ relationship modeled to me that love is____________________________________________


4.  One issue that still stumps me in terms of love is_______________________________________________


5.  What has the world shown you love is__________________________________________________________


6.  I have trouble with romantic love? ______________________________________________________________

7.  I have trouble with relationships at work, with friends, and with family members?____________

8.  I want to feel more love in my life?_______________

Set your intention or you can use mine:

“I am willing to listen to my soul and learn more about love.”

So it is!

For more information about love stay tuned for forthcoming coaching and group sessions.

Once again, Welcome to life with love!

Much love,

April of Course


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After They Break Your Heart, Now What?

How To Get Over A Breakup!

So he did you wrong!  The scoundral lied, cheated, and corrupted the core of everything you thought you ever believed about love, commitment, and all that you had together.  Ok, I get it.

When my husband married my first cousin almost immediately after the ink on our divorce papers were dry.  I was devastated and embarrassed and bewildered about everything I thought I knew about him and marriage.

And, I admit, I felt uncontrollable rage running through every part of my being. This was way beyond mad.  I had one goal; make him hurt bad. I ruthlessly tried everything to do just that.

Now that my emotions are more collected, I realize I hurt myself more then I could have ever hurt him or my cousin.  And what’s work, You know what, it didn’t work.  I was humiliated and ashamed.  And let’s not even mention  the agony I caused my entire family and most importantly the damage especially involving  my children’s ability to move on in a healthy way.

But guess what, now after all of these years, the love I had for my husband has returned with a deeper understanding of who he is and who I am.  The thought of him still warms my soul with a sincere peace and I see clearly that I consider what we had to be one of the best experiences of my life.

How did I forgive, move on, and return to thoughts of him with genuine kindness and insight.?

There were many steps, one of which I’m going to share with you right now.  You can get over a broken heart and become even better, wiser, and more enchanted with the thought of future relationships then you ever thought.

Letting Him Go!

Quick Check In:

I.  There is a reason this person came in to your life and perhaps a better reason why he left.

2.  He came to present an opportunity to learn about love.

3.  He left for reasons no one but his soul and my soul may know.

4.  Humans mess up; he is a soul having a human experience. It can be crazy!

5.  I mess up; I am a soul having a human experience.  It can get crazy.

6.  Love is an energy that goes on forever whether it be one sided or mutual even if we don’t believe it.

7.  I give him permission to learn more about life realizing in my heart, it’s truly not personal. (Prayer helps.)

8.  I give myself permission to be free when I let him grow in whatever way he needs to.

9.  I can myself permission to always have special loving feelings for him.

If you would like to learn more about getting over pain, please let us know.

Life With Love – Let it happen!


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The Facts About Detox; What YOU Need to Know

Deciding To Go To Detox?

What You Need To Know!


Drugs and alcohol affect your judgment, thoughts, feelings, and more.  All of this clouds your ability to make sound decisions; even about getting clean.  Going to detox is an important step and one that  needs to be made utilizing facts.  Here is a summary to help you in your recovery.

Three reasons people go to detox!

1.  They are court ordered often involving threats of prison time and/or having their children taken out of the home.

2.  They want everyone to get off their back aka pressure from friends and family.3. They truly are ready to change.

3.  They are truly ready to stop.

Be warned:  All of these reasons can look the same.

What is detox?

  1. Detox is when the body goes through physical withdrawal of the addictive substance.
  2. Detox can last anywhere from one to a week or so depending on the type of drug.
  3. For example, heroin usually takes a week but it can be done in three days if absolutely necessary.

What is Rehab?

  1. Rehab can last anywhere from 30 to 90 days and in some cases there are opportunities for longer programs.
  2. Rehab includes but is not limited to therapy, classes which can include self care practices and artistic ways to process physical and/or mental issues, as well as medical support. They provide intensive methodology to help the client create a new life with skills to remain sober and start over.
  3. Rehab programs vary in price and often medicaid will not pay for it.

Three factors that affect choice of detox programs!

  1. Cost – with government assistance some are free; however, come all inclusive treatment programs can run up thousands.
  2. Drug of Choice –  once again, certain drugs take longer to detox from.  LSD withdrawal can have intense side effects.
  3. Life Style -Addicts with jobs or responsibilities with children or other family members affect the best detox program for you.

Is detox successful?

Success is a relative term.

Will detox clean your body from the drug? Yes

Will detox be a one time fix? No

Will detox help addicts cope with entering back in to normal living? No

Is detox a one time thing?  No

Is detox the first time to recovery?  Yes




For personal help, information, or insights, please contact us at:


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Why Is Your Love Life A Total Mess?

Working My Way Back to Me is the story of my relationship with Frankie Valli, which started with a meeting when I was five years old, consummated when I was 16, and went on nearly three decades. I first wrote this story on my own four years ago, but the self-published memoir did not gain much traction. I enlisted a professional writer to help me author a new book, focusing on the emotional journey of my youth through the prism of the Frankie relationship.

In WMWBTM, I explore universal issues of love, sexuality, addiction, and mental health through my personal experiences. It is a journey that begins for me as an Ohio farm girl in the 1960s and continues through my years as an aspiring beauty queen, a college student, and a young counselor. My memoir is set against a backdrop of familial love, but also violence, abuse, and dysfunction.
I hope  that you’ll see me as a somewhat different participant in the #MeToo movement, in that I see myself less as a victim and more as a woman trying to break a generational mold.
I have two masters in education and am a therapist working with dual diagnosis clients, often those who struggle with addiction and early childhood trauma.


April Kirkwood, M.Ed., LPC


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