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September first I’m publishing my second book. It’s the raw naked truth about multi-generational dysfunctions that created the urgency for a little girl to find someone who would make life happy and safe. It was time to remember and share events about my childhood that I hid in my first book.
Today, I’m ready to use this writing as a tool to create conversations about families and their effects on our adult romance. I’m moving on and I wrote little poem quite a while ago when I wasn’t emotionally strong. I am today. Perhaps those of you who are having issues with love or want to learn more about why you pick the people you do to love you…this will be of value to you.
Definition of romantic Imprinting: A spiritual bond to another, usually quite unintentionally, perhaps based on childhood memories or self created thoughts about the perfect partner. Either way, they can wreck havoc with adult relationships if left to their own devices.
Ode To My Imprint
Mr. Frankie Valli
I loved you before I met you!
You didn’t know my affection started as a small girl.
I gave myself to you long before I met you!
You saw a young woman that seemingly was careless with her body.
I saved my body for you long before I met you!
You saw it as a one night stand that went on for thirty years.
I had never let myself move on.
You broke my girlish dreams into pieces.
I grew up holding on to you throughout the tears.
You walked away.
I tried to replace you with the wrong people.
You became a ghost haunting my love life.
I had to exorcise you through tears, truth, and triumph.
You never knew.
I’ve been healing and weeping.
You never cared.
I know so many who have left a relationship wondering what they ever saw in them in the first place. They shake their heads promising themselves they will never get into that mess again. But a few years later, there is something familiar about the relationship. The new mate may have a different career from the last one, or be taller with a different chin…but there is something….something that resonates and wakes up your heart to move in, get close, and open your inner being. Perhaps you are somehow part of the romantic imprint syndrome!
Here are the good news:
Will you be able to heal from this? Yes
Can you remain loving in the face of this knowledge? Yes
Is it possible to find the right partner after so much heartache? Yes
Join my newsletter for more information about love and life.
April Of Course
Coming to Amazon September 1!
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“It’s NOT a FRANKIE Valli
It’s a FAMILY Dysfunction thing!
It’s a WOMAN thing!
I wrote this book because I wanted to understand why in the world any woman (ME) would waste her time loving anyone who didn’t love her back. Why do so many of us worship men who have no clue who we are and worse; no desire to see what makes us happy nor wants to please us. We love, we give, we moan and often do it again and again with similar men who aren’t capable or willing.
I have no time to spend pointing fingers. I have no energy to spend on anger or resentments. I want to know love on every level and live it fully until I take my last breath. It’s strange when you ask for help it appears. I happened to stumble upon a brave and a respected author, Don Givens, that decided he wanted to join me on this adventure. We we found together may seem awful filled with family dysfunction and issues of addiction, rumors of molestation, and adultery. The characters are deeply complex and I love each one of them. Through this process I grew, healed, and became passionate to help others heal from trauma that has hidden them from finding and keeping romance.
Let’s start the conversation. Read the book. Google it. See how it might apply to heartache that seems unending. It does end. There is a workbook that is out and you will begin to understand love, life, and healing.
Because if I can be brave and do it, so can you!
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By now I hope you are getting to know me, the real deeply flawed but ever present girl who most of the name is pretty happy. If now, let me share with you what others ofter say, People always ask me, “April, how did find yourself out of your drama? How do you move on? Find a smile in life’s issues? I did it and I’m proud to say most days, not all, I’m more then Ok. I’m pretty darn happy.
But after reading, Working My Way Back To Me, you will most undoubtedly see how much we probably have in common. The message and why I write is quite simply this, “It is possible to move on without becoming a cynical bitter ****** and use what you’ve been through to make life better.
Quick Test: Do any of these resonate with you?A person without a strong sense of identity tends to suffer from:
- Low Self-Esteem
- Feelings of emptiness or meaninglessness
- Feelings of helplessness
- Stunted dreams
- Financial difficulties
If any of these happen to fit more then just once in a blue moon, you may be struggling with finding yourself. Take a look at trying a few of these and rediscover your Magnificent Self.
Tips To Find True Self
- Write down what everyone has told you about yourself, what they think is right, and what they think is wrong.
- Cross off those items in the list that you no longer buy into and circle the ones you still question. There are no right or wrong answers and no rush. You are free to return and change your answers. You can an A just for showing up.
- Make a list of what you know you love…in terms of interests, passions, hobbies, and people. Make a commitment to only hang out with others that make you feel happy.
- Write down what feels right to you.
- Now create a list of people, places, and things that feel right.
As you raise your energy raises from being in a positive place, watch what happens and it continues to repeat itself attracting more of the same. Changes will come and go with them. Some people may not understand…walk away and let it go. Each day your self-worth will grow with the new, original self you always are!
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
Evidence of someone who knows who they are:
e living your life purpose:
1. You feel truly alive.
2. You’ve forgiven yourself and others for past mistakes.
3. You’re grateful while you work toward what you want.
4. You trust your heart.
5. You don’t settle.
6. Your past mistakes serve a purpose.
7. Instead of trying to change the world, you focus on changing yourself.
8. You live less out of habit and more from intent.
9. Your faith is bigger than your fear.
10. Instead of focusing on your bank account, you focus on who you can and have helped.
11. You go to bed smiling and proud of your day.
12. You appreciate each moment and can find purpose in pain.
13. You are who you are, not who the world says you should be.
14. You realize your life purpose isn’t just about you.
15. You tell yourself you love you and can accept compliments gracefully.
16. You stopped comparing yourself to others and celebrate your unique, quirky, beautiful self.
17. You’ve let go of trying to “find” your purpose and instead do what you are passionate about.
18. You know the world needs something in you.
19. You’re OK with not getting what you want because you know you always get what you need.
20. You appreciate the journey, if not more so, than the destination.
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Until we meet again,
April of Course
A new friend
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