Cameron Diaz Marries Benji Madden!

Do Opposites have a better chance of lasting love?

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It’s Official:  Mr. and Mrs. Benji Madden are married!

I didn’t see that one coming.  Wow!  Totally opposite from what I can see from afar.  No, we aren’t friends and yes, I’m looking at this from a counseling, female, onlooker point of view.

Has marrying someone totally opposite worked for you?

 Do you think it will last for them?

Marriage is a huge commitment and the next time I do it, if ever, I want to get as many votes in the ‘it will last’ column as possible.  I think the odds are still around 50 percent but the third marriage is statistically the best for happiness.  I guess by that time we’ve screwed it up a few times and kind of have an idea of what we need to change in ourselves and what kind of mate we truly fit best with.

So like every counselor, I took to my books and here are a few key components that help love go the distance:

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  1. The more a couple shares similar perspectives, the less conflict there’s likely to be.
  2. Someone who validates your existing views and habits rather then constantly trying to change you is quite frankly, more fun to be with.
  3. Research shows that couples who answered questions the same about life questions on views like sexual fidelity, chore distribution, and budgeting were the ones who were most satisfied with their love lives.
  4. Couples in love still need to have that spark of chemistry.
  5. Couples that have diverse interests and hobbies bring the most interesting novelty…if not too much the ‘same’ gets boring.

Summary of who I’m looking for to marry and you should to:

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I have to want to be near him romantically.  He has to come with his own bundle of interests and passions.  Yet, the core values of family, life style, spirituality, and fun should match mine.

In short:

“Expand me, don’t change me, connect with me, and let’s laugh along the way.”

PS:  Congrats to Cameron and Benji we wish you well.

Love always,

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April of Course 

April Kirkwood

About April Kirkwood

April Kirkwood LPC holds two masters and is presently working in the mental health focussing on both women’s issues as well as addiction. Her desire is to help others take the present, healing the past, and creating a wonderful tomorrow. Focus: child trauma, holistic methodology, sexual molestation and harassment.

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